Thir13en Ghosts (2001)

Dir: Steve Beck

This typical early-2000s spookfest marketed to teens sees Monk Tony Shalhoub and his family inherit a crazy mechanical mansion from a wayward uncle who apparently "squandered the family's fortune" and died on a ghost hunt. Obviously (far TOO obviously), the mansion is not all it seems and, before long, there are ghosts running amok in double figures, just like the title promises. This isn't too bad a premise and the production design is pleasant, but the script is a total disaster. It tells everything in an awkward order in an effort to provide "twist" after shocking "twist" but instead just succeeds in sucking out the tension and logic from a convoluted story that was teetering on the edge of nonsense anyway. If they'd kept it simpler (and ditched at least two or three extraneous characters) this would've been better but, even then, you've got the annoying strobe lights, madcap editing and mawkish sentimental streak to deal with. Matthew Lillard and Tony Shalhoub both act well with what they're given but overall this is a pretty poor reminder of a particularly shiny-but-empty period in mainstream horror history. *