The Marsh (2006)

Dir: Jordan Barker

Gabrielle Anwar plays a writer of spooky children's books. She suffers recurring nightmares about a creepy old house by a marshland. When she discovers the location of the house she (naturally!) moves in there, only to find... wait for it... she's haunted by visions of a SOGGY DEAD GIRL! WITH LANK HAIR! ARRGH! Yes, it all goes a bit "Ring"-like from thereon and if you've seen any one of these kinda movies, you can guess exactly how the story ends. To the filmmakers' credit, it is beautifully shot, with some luscious production design and even the odd few moments of creepiness here and there. Unfortunately it's spoiled by a painfully deriative plot and too many bogus 'jolts' over nothing (aiiieee! it's a spooky glass of wine! BOOM! it's an open window!) that made me feel hugely patronised. Even with Gabrielle Anwar's nipples bursting out of her shirt in every scene, I still found myself falling asleep by the end of this. Zzzz. *1/2