Pulse (2006)

Dir: Jim Sonzero

I like the idea. I really do. Telecommunications experiments involving super long wave frequencies end up channeling the dead. The angry dead at that. Before long, said dead are coming through modems, cellphones, wi-fi, you name it. Anything that has a network seems to release screaming, flickering static ghosties faster than you say "'Ring' was eight years ago! these FX are passé!" and it's down to a group of nondescript, apathetic teens to save the world. Sadly, this hip retelling of Kiyoshi Kurosawa's "Kairo" fails for several reasons. Firstly, the screenplay (co-penned by a sheepish Wes Craven) is seriously clumsy and filled with holes you could push André The Giant through; the characters never come to life, the story doesn't get going until about 15 minutes before the end and there are way too many confusing, inconsequential scenes that bog it down and go nowhere. Secondly, the style/direction is atrocious. Imagine being locked in a room for ten years watching nothing but TV commercials and Metallica videos circa 1991 and "Pulse" would be the resultant nightmares you'd have. Filters, post-production trickery, bad CGI, shakycam handheld shots and more gratuitous Kristen Bell costume changes than you can shake a halter top at. A damn shame because with some tightening up, a little directorial restraint, and a few more of the fleeting creepy moments, this could've been a contender. *1/2