The Dark (2005)

Dir: John Fawcett

A no-nonsense Northerner (Sean Bean) sets himself up for a quiet, peaceful existence in a farmhouse somewhere on the remote coast of Wales. His neurotic, high-strung, American ex-wife (Maria Bello) and their annoying, freaky-lookin' daughter (Sophie Stuckey) come to stay with him and, before you can say "Hideo Nakata is a twll tin iar!", they're being sort-of haunted by a pale-faced little girl in a raggedy old dress. No prizes if you guess that she was once a neglected child and is now a spooky dead thang that needs love. I had hoped that the unusual location and the allusions to Welsh folklore would've elevated this above the current slew of "Ring" clones, but alas, this is woefully generic stuff. Some potentially good material gets left unexplored in favour of "Ohmygod! Loud bang! An out of focus spooky kid in the back of the shot!" cliché. The screenplay (and, especially, its six zillion infuriating false endings) requires a LOT of disbelief suspension but the hyperactive photography, flat direction and autopilot performances from the normally-more-capable leads don't offer enough motivation for you to stick with it. The last fifteen minutes are rather ridiculous. I'm not quite sure who is watching all these "Dark Water" type movies and finding them moving/interesting/frightening, but I do wish they'd all go back down the well and stay there. This trend is really starting to annoy me. *