The Howling 2 (1985)

Dir: Philippe Mora

This ludicrous sequel (subtitled "Your Sister Is A Werewolf!") isn't even fit to poop-scoop up after the original. It opens with Christopher Lee (who has publically derided this as "the low point" of his career) floating through space with a skeleton (!), warning the viewer of a dreadful, ancient evil. When he's not surfing the astral superhighway, Lee loiters at funerals, makes wild claims (ie: that older werewolves cannot be killed by silver bullets ("only titanium" - natch!)) and persuades a couple of non-entity pseudo-reporter types to go to Transylvania with him, in search of a wolf cult. One very musical human sacrifice later and an aging were-queen (Sybil Danning) materialises, ready to spend the rest of the film in a state of undress before learning how to shoot laser beams from her fingers in time for the finalé. If this all sounds entertaining, don't be fooled. Despite wacky set designs, OTT fetish costumes and a sadistically catchy theme song ("by the paaaale paaaaale moooon!"), "The Howling 2" is a plodding, dreary, poorly-lit experience, loaded with obvious padding (including two hand-puppet shows!) and truly atrocious dialogue. Even the hot'n'sweaty were-humping from Danning and her furry cronies can't liven this one up. EL BOMBA!