The Ferryman (2007)

Dir: Chris Graham

A group of yachters in peril when they pick up a Greek sailor in distress, who's played by the dwarf from "Lord of the Rings" and speaks like some kind of croaky Welsh rasta. He's all kinds of evil and has cheated death for thousands of years by continually swapping bodies, which he does by stabbing people with his magic dagger. There's so much potential here to be "The Thing at sea" but it fails miserably. Every time he swaps bodies, he immediately starts running about, spouting misogynistic wisecracks and megalomaniacal threats, which makes it obvious which body he's inhabiting at any given time. It also makes it very silly and draining to watch after awhile. The film is also, despite an okay budget, atrociously acted and directed; flaws which just become more critical as the film lapses into absurd melodrama. Yes, it's gruesome and nasty but just too stupid and badly made to work. The whole ludicrous mess culminates with a heavy metal cover of Chris DeBurgh's "Don't Pay The Ferryman", which probably tells you all you need to know. *