Splatter Beach (2007)

Dir: John Polonia / Mark Polonia

El Cheapo Z-Movie from the guys who brought you "Splatter Farm". This one is a fairly bland "Humanoids From The Deep" rip-off that, to my immense disappointment, contains little splatter and barely even a beach. Shot at perhaps the greyest, most miserable looking lakeside I've ever seen, this mercifully short (70 minutes) no-brainer manages to have a double-figure body count and yet not one real special effect. Instead, a guy in a $2 Halloween suit glues some twigs to his back and runs around shaking people by the shoulders until they dribble red paint all down their tops. Sometimes, they superimpose extra versions of the suited dude into the shot so it looks like there are three or four of him. I guess it's meant as a homage to the early straight-to-video shockers and some of the dialogue is endearingly goofball but really... this is bad and (even worse) boring stuff. There's a surf-punk band, a beach party and Misty Mundae - some of my favourite things - and it's still all about as dull as the scenery. EL BOMBA!