Solstice (2007)

Dir: David Myrick

Dullness abounds in this horror that blends two of my least favourite fads of the past decade; post-"Scream" teen soap opera horror and post-"Ring" soggy dead girl ghosts. Ugh. In this one, a group of attractive teens (and two of their notably less attractive friends) drive out to a house in the woods to party on the summer solstice (what with pretty much every other significant date on the calendar having been used up in 80s slashers and all). Then strange, scary things start happening! Oh no, wait. That's a lie. TREMENDOUSLY MUNDANE THINGS start happening. A car won't start and the lights flicker. The water is muddy. A girl falls into a small hole and hurts her ankle. A girl breaks a nail. An old man gives them all a watermelon. A local shopkeeper freaks them all out by talking about voodoo. This yawnfest concludes with a denouement that should be tragic but instead feels hilarious because it's so overplayed and absurd. Don't let the presence of Amanda Seyfried or Shawn Ashmore fool you into thinking this is worth watching. *