The Arcane Sorcerer (1996)

Dir: Pupi Avati

If you're longing for the crawling flesh and rising goosebumps you got the last time you watched a properly creepy ghost story, and it's been way too long, then look no further. Pupi Avati's underrated gem, "The Arcane Sorcerer", is exactly what you're after. Set in the 16th century, a young student is disgraced by a sex scandal and sent away to become secretary to a defrocked priest who lives in a remote country house and is known for his collection of esoteric, occult books and his recently deceased former assistant - an apparent black wizard. I don't want to say too much else about the plot. It's largely a two-hander between the excellent leads - Carlo Cecchi and Stefano Dionisi - and packed with twists and scares. A film of great craftmanship, depth and understated beauty, Avati shoots in warm, earthy, autumnal tones and packs his screenplay with rich exploration of his themes (ol' favourites death and sin, mostly). The gothic atmosphere enhances some very creepy moments indeed and, despite a slightly rushed-feeling final five minutes, this is a strong example of a master horror director at work. If you like ghosts or intelligent occult horror, seek it out at once. ***1/2

Howl of the Devil (1987)

Dir: Paul Naschy

Paul Naschy (who also writes, produces and directs this) plays a pair of brothers, Alex and Hector Doriani. Alex is a B-Movie horror actor. Hector is a serious thespian. They hate each other but when Alex dies, his son Adrian (played by Naschy's own son) is placed into Hector's care. Hector beats the boy, abuses the servants and has a habit of abducting and drugging prostitutes for his weird sex games, so Adrian (understandably) retreats into a world of fantasy based on the characters played by his late father. This turbo-paced movie plays a little like an overheated, X-rated Spanish soap opera on fast-forward but with the mind-boggling bonus of Paul Naschy playing no fewer than 12 roles. Besides Alex and Hector, he is also Rasputin, Quasimodo, Bluebeard, Frankenstein's Monster, Fu Manchu, The Phantom of the Opera, Mr Hyde, his own wolfman creation Waldermar Daninsky (in one of the film's rare moments of poignancy), a mummy/zombie and, ultimately, Satan. On one hand "Howl of the Devil" is a glorious mess; a feverish kaleidoscope of misogynistic shouting, gratuitous nudity and ever-increasing absurdity. On the other, taken as part of Naschy's oeuvre, it's a heartfelt love letter to the artform he mastered and a furious lashing-out at the audience who rejected his genius. There's even political allegory in there; a disparaging of both tyrannical government (bear in mind Naschy's career began under General Franco's regime) and the Catholic church. What's weirdest is that, if you take out the fact that no one would/could ever behave like any of these characters do, the story - within its own universe - actually makes sense and has a really good twist. This kind of intensely personal cinema is rarely so entertaining as it is here and "Howl of the Devil" has the added bonus of watching Naschy - for perhaps the only time - completely off leash and wildly indulging every B-Movie fantasy he's ever had. For those who appreciate his genius, this is stuff that will really raise the goosebumps. Why this has never had a proper DVD release is beyond me. ***1/2

Lips of Blood (1975)

Dir: Jean Rollin

A man finds himself haunted by vague childhood memories of meeting and falling in love with a girl in a spooky ruined castle. When he sees a photograph of the same ruins as an adult, he becomes obsessed with tracking down his lost love in this typically strange and beautiful Jean Rollin vampire film. If you've seen any of Rollin's work, you'll probably already either worship him or curse his name and Lips Of Blood - packed as it is with his staple ingredients - will do nothing to change your opinion. The plot is slight but effective, a vehicle for his perfectly framed shots of beautiful women in flamboyant costumes floating through the Parisian night, sticking their plastic fangs into the necks of anything that moves. There's a serene, dreamlike atmosphere and a bittersweet sense of regret and nostalgia to this one too and, beneath its cryptic exterior, something very personal indeed. If he'd only made one film, this would be a true classic - if anything, it's just the fact that he's made so many of a similar style/standard that dilutes its brilliance. ***1/2

Alucarda (1978)

Dir: Juan López Moctezuma

Batshit crazy Mexican horror that had me muttering "they don't make 'em like this any more" at the screen more than just about anything else I've ever seen. An innocent orphan named Justine (of COURSE she's named Justine!), who looks a bit like a young Carol Vorderman only more naked, enters a bizarre convent that seems to have been built inside a cave. It's covered in dangling Christ statues and candles, the nuns all dress in bloodied bandages and flagellate frequently, so it's really no surprise when fanaticism leads to lesbianism leads to Satanism leads to the dark side, etc... It is, however, a surprise when you throw in a bunch of vampirism, zombie nuns, blood rain, nuns on fire and goat-faced demons. Words can't describe how hysterical much of Alucarda is. It finally delivers on the promise of so many "all sizzle, no steak" nunsploitation films of its era. The truly insane gypsy black mass sequence alone wipes the floor with much of the subgenre. If you like 70s occult/psychedelic imagery, you'll find very little that will quell the hunger like this one. A lost classic. Just don't expect it to actually make sense (the film's only real flaw) and you'll love it! ***1/2

The Night Child (1975)

Dir: Massimo Dallamano

(aka The Cursed Medallion, Perche?!)

This low-key Italian chiller tells the story of Emily (Nicoletta Elmi), a young girl whose documentary-making father (Richard Johnson) is working on a piece about "diabolical art". Intrigued by a photograph of a rare painting, he drags Emily and her nanny to Italy for a look at the ghastly thing (a Bosch-like panorama of demons, crazy-eyed peasants and women on fire) up close. Needless to say, there's a curse involved and Emily finds herself at the centre of it, exhibiting increasingly weird and violent behaviour as the family spiral towards certain doom. Lavishly photographed in opulent locations and punctuated by a delicate musical score, The Night Child is Dallamano's take on the "classic" ghost story model and it holds up beautifully next to the best of 'em. Nicoletta Elmi, in a rare lead role, gives it her all and turns in a creepy, show-stealing performance. The pacing takes a little patience and the characters could maybe use some fleshing-out but it's worth the wait for the bleak and heartbreaking finalé. A subtle, serious horror film. ***1/2

Buio Omega (1980)

Dir: Joe D'amato

(aka Beyond The Darkness, The Final Darkness, Buried Alive)

Millionaire playboy Frank (an unforgettable turn by Kieran Kanter) is consumed by grief and decides to keep his beautiful girlfriend (Cinzia Monreale) around after she dies. He steals her corpse, embalms it and keeps it in bed with him at his isolated villa, convinced that nothing could possibly go wrong with this plan... and how could it, right? "Buio Omega" is a wild original. A film so unutterably barmy that it plays almost like an extreme Horace Walpole novel, blending high camp soap plotting and gothic melodrama with genuinely disgusting, graphic gore and sex. It's hard to take the latter elements seriously when the story hits its most absurd highs and yet still somehow the combination of gorgeous location photography, a fantastic Goblin score (one of their best ever) and the sheer grimness of the ideas leaves an unsettling feeling behind. It's illogical, uneven and ludicrous but you'll never see another film like it and for that it's kind of brilliant. ***1/2

Anthropophagus (1980)

Dir: Joe D'Amato

Even the makers admit to being a little embarrassed about this extremely dark exploitation flick but I'd have to argue its virtues with them. It may seem like standard fare as a crazed cannibal (played by the film's screenwriter, George Eastman!) stalks a group of hapless tourists around a remote Greek island, and it may be pretty gross and sleazy in parts (I mean, yeah, homeboy eats a foetus) but I think it's been done a disservice by those who regard it as just trash. Maybe it's time and nostalgia that have improved it but I actually think "Anthropophagus" is a damn fine, slow-burning slasher. The atmosphere is moody and although the gore doesn't really start in force until some 70+ minutes into the movie, there's a feeling of dread constructed perfectly by the cast, locations, photography and yes, even the script. It's pretty tight and the killer's back story is original and weird enough to work. The truly stunning Tisa Farrow stars as the terrified but headstrong heroine and her performance is emotional and greatly underrated. Even Eastman, as the killer, is seriously scary in his weird face make-up and bald wig, and the ending he writes for himself is as black as they come. Still shocking some 30 years on. ***1/2

Phenomena (1984)

Dir: Dario Argento

Jennifer Connelly talks to the insects and befriends a monkey with a penchant for straight razors in this marvelously bonkers giallo. Phenomena blends a classic "killer on the loose in a girls boarding school" plotline with sprinklings of the gothic grand guignol Argento played with in "Suspiria" and "Inferno" and somehow it works. I think it's mostly Argento's tremendous confidence in what he's doing that pulls "Phenomena" through. At times even the really terrible artistic decisions (like playing Iron Maiden's "Flash of the Blade" loudly over the top of a knife murder) kinda work just because everything's so amped up and stylized. It's like he's just shrugging and saying "so what? I think it's cool" and that works. What's particularly cool is that, although it's not remotely realistic, the plot actually makes a strange kind of sense by the end. Or maybe the film's just obliterated the bothersome braincells that were raising objections. Good shit. ***1/2

End of the Line (2007)

Dir: Maurice Devereaux

I wouldn't want to speak too soon having only seen two of his films but I'm fast becoming convinced that Canadian director Maurice Devereaux is one of the leading lights of the horror genre right now. "End of the Line" is wonderful. The twisty-turny plot concerns a group of travelers on a subway train, trapped underground with a crazed doomsday cult who believe the apocalypse is occurring above them. This skillfully uses conventions of survival horror while at the same time offering something new and exciting that's as creepy as it is gory. My one small complaint with the script is that the ending (although still unsettling) is given away far too early and I'd've probably had my mind completely blown beyond repair if I hadn't seen it coming. But this is a small price to pay for all the wonderful roving long takes, the finger-chewing tension, the chilling atmosphere, the unflinching gore and the above-average characterisation. I wish all indie horror was this inventive, disturbing and brilliant. Kinda reminds me of the buzz I got the first time I watched "The Descent". ***1/2

Hausu (1977)

Dir: Nobuhiko Obayashi

If you've read about this recently rediscovered film already, you've probably heard that it's completely insane. It is, for sure, but it's also unexpectedly rather excellent. Yes, you have rapid-fire hallucinogenic visuals, stop-motion surrealist slapstick and an ear-splitting free jazz score played in time signatures you'd need Stephen Hawking to calculate. However, this is also a tremendously innovative, energetic and fierce piece of filmmaking. It often feels like you're riding on a 100mph ghost train built by Mario Bava but there's an effective old-fashioned haunted house story at its heart that both anchors it to reality (of sorts) and provides some genuine spookiness to temper the psychedelia. It's also strangely moving. "Hausu" is certainly not going to be a film for everyone but love it or hate it, you'll never see anything like it: guaranteed. "The Happiness of the Katakuris" is the closest comparison I can come up with but that was made 20+ years later, which only goes to show how way ahead of its time "Hausu" was... ***1/2

Psychos in Love (1986)

Dir: Gorman Bechard

I first saw this on a bad quality VHS bootleg about fifteen years ago and, when I found out it was finally out on DVD, a part of me expected to be disappointed. I wasn't. One of the genuine gems of the early direct-to-video boom, "Psychos in Love" is a low-budget splatter comedy about a bartender and a manicurist who fall in love. The only problem is that they're both psychotic serial killers who murder people at random because they feel they can't fit in with society's "norms". The story is somehow tender, absurd, grotesque and hilarious all at the same time and it has depth far beyond the "bad jokes", near-constant nudity and copious bargain basement gore effects (although that's not to say all of that isn't enjoyable too!). The humour, if anything, seems very ahead of its time and it's well delivered by the two fantastic leads (Carmine Capobianco and Debi Thibeault). 24 years on and there's a lot of cheap and strange movies out there but none quite like this one. ***1/2

Dance of the Dead (2008)

Dir: Gregg Bishop

A troupe of goons from the high school sci-fi society inadvertently unleash the undead on prom night. Townsfolk turn into walking wormfood quicker than you can say “they’re coming to get you, Barbara”, so it’s left to the nerds goons to save the prom, kick zombie ass and change from boys into men while they’re at it. This rapid-fire splatterfest blends surprisingly sharp John Hughes-style comedy with a phenomenal level of gore and action. There’s little that’s new or original about it (except perhaps the zombie dissection frogs from the science lab) but it’s a great example of how to stay simple yet effective. The zombies show up pretty much immediately and, from that point on, there’s barely even time to grab a beer or open a bag of chips until the next spine is yanked out, the next arm ripped off or the next brain eaten. “Dance of the Dead” is a riot. See it. ***1/2

The Haunting of #24 (2005)

Dir: Sean Hogan

(aka Lie Still)

Okay. A low budget British horror film that isn't like watching someone's home videos is shocking enough in itself, but this one's actually REALLY good to boot. A haunted house movie with serious nods to both MR James and Kubrick's "Shining", this atmospheric chiller tells the archetypal ghost paranoia tale: a man moves into a grotty bedsit after a relationship break-up and finds himself possibly tormented by the supernatural inhabitants. It's not exactly a surprise how events pan out, but it's done so well that I found myself repeatedly shocked into jumping by the beautifully orchestrated scares and genuinely creepy set-pieces that make "1408"'s overblown theatrics look laughable. It's refreshing to see a film that can be dark, artfully photographed, intelligently scripted and SCARY, even without much of a budget. Just proves that a little natural talent can go a long way. A very pleasant surprise. ***1/2

Night of the Demons (1988)

Dir: Kevin S. Tenney

Delightfully unpretentious 80s fun in which the local goth throws a Halloween party in a haunted house. It all goes to Hell, quite literally, as the pretty teenage guests turn into rubber-faced ghouls, hungry for souls. The plot's nothing new but, cleverly, it uses clichés to its advantage, rather than just recycling them cynically. Everything, from the Scooby-Doo-like animation in the title sequence to Dennis Tenney's pipe organ score, just makes this feel like one big ol' midnight movie extravaganza; a love letter to the most absurd elements of the genre from its roots right up to the (then) present day. Gothic set designs straight of Corman's Poe movies collide with garish splatter and more tits than you can possibly ogle in one sitting. What really makes it special is the way it manages to combine high camp with one or two moments that are genuinely creepy/scary. A nice balance. One day there'll be a Kevin Tenney revival and he'll be up there where he belongs with the greats. ***1/2

Society (1989)

Dir: Brian Yuzna

As directorial debuts go, Brian Yuzna (who's subsequently failed to direct anything of interest) made quite a splash with "Society". A gooey, slimy, multi-coloured splash that you'll find hard to wipe off. Billy Warlock plays a Beverly Hills teenager who finds he doesn't fit in with his schoolmates or his family. He feels they're excluding him from something and that they look down on him. His shrink tells him that he's being paranoid and it's just teenage angst but, as the film goes on, Billy realises that the secrets behind his affluent community are more nightmarish than he could've possibly imagined. Shocking, original and seriously fuckin' weird, "Society" certainly has the accolade of being a film unlike any other I've seen. It's a little dated at times perhaps and its social satire element is hardly world-shattering, but still ... that's one Hell of an ending. Screaming Mad George's sickening special FX still make me squirm. Happy 'shunting'! ***1/2

Return of the Living Dead: Necropolis (2005)

Dir: Ellory Elkayem

Unexpectedly superb masterclass in how to make a no-nonsense, hi-octane zombie flick comes from the director of "Eight-Legged Freaks". "Necropolis" sees the trioxin barrels from the first three films causing havoc once more as a shady pharmaceuticals company unleashes the zombie gas on all and sundry, in the name of world domination. A group of (surprisingly) likeable teens get caught in the splattery crossfire and have to save the day against the undead hordes. We get everything that's good here; bio-zombies with gatling gun arms, chewy bouncing brains, spraying headwounds galore, big tanks, children with flamethrowers and ubercute Aimee-lynn Chadwick running around in pigtails. It's fast-paced, often very funny and, at times, even a little tense. It's nice to see an old-fashioned, reasonable budget approach to zombies and this is the most fun I've had in front of a TV for awhile now. Dare I say, I even found myself screaming things like, "Stick 'im, Becky!" at the screen? ***1/2

Darkness (2002)

Dir: Jaume Balagueró

Make sure you get the uncut version of this rather than the Disney edit which cuts out a lot of the plot, almost all of the gore and dubs over the swear words with "gollly darn gosh" style silliness that takes you right out of it. However, if you watch it as the director intended, it's a very nice surprise indeed. Much like Balagueró's debut, "The Nameless", "Darkness" is a creepy and vicious depiction of pure evil as a supernatural force. It begins with the tired, overused motif of a family moving into a new and creepy home, but gradually unfolds into something far more sinister and original. The magnificently bleak ending is stylish, sombre and sobering stuff. ***1/2

Dellamore Dellamore (1994)

Dir: Michele Soavi

Absurdist horror stuck somewhere between genius and madness, this one involves a cemetery keeper called Francisco Dellamorte (Rupert Everett, in a genuine star turn) who (along with his assistant, Gnaghi) handles the nasty business of disposing of returners - dead people who come back to life a week after being buried. The film crosses the genres skillfully, weaving goofball splatter with stony-faced nuggets of philosophy and even a smattering of romance into its artfully surreal tapestry. Taken scene by scene, this is a beautiful piece of work. The photography is magnificent, the direction assured, the dialogue fantastic. It's perhaps too abstract to work entirely as a whole but it has admirable ambitions and, if you're looking for something different, you really can't get much weirder than this one. ***1/2

Dolls (1987)

Dir: Stuart Gordon

Cracking, underrated Empire Pictures movie from Stuart Gordon's golden period of overwhelming creativity (one a year with "Re-animator", "From Beyond" and "Dolls"! Wowser!). This one plays with the classic motif of travellers seeking shelter from the storm in a spooky old house. The house is inhabited by the Hartwickes, a pair of hospitable dollmakers who seem glad of the company. The only problem is that, during the night, their loyal and protective dolls made come alive and have plans of their own for anyone who's been naughty ... Part fairytale, part classic horror and part rampant splatter flick, "Dolls" is a successful and original blend of styles. At 77 minutes, it zips along and manages to be funny, poignant and shocking, all without pretense. John Carl Buechler provides some top-notch FX work; his evil little dolls are simply marvelous. This beats the stuffing out of most deadly toy movies. ***1/2

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

Dir: Tobe Hooper

Although aped a few zillion times since (not least of all by some of its own sequels), the original "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" still somehow retains its scare factor, despite the familiarity of the material. It's your standard 'mad rednecks' story; bunch of kids driving through Texas run low on gas and get themselves caught by a family of inbred cannibal killers. What sets it apart is hard to place, but the film possesses an unusual power that few of its successors have captured. The skilled photography makes for an incredibly eerie atmosphere, as do the filthy, horrific set designs. The edgy musical score sets you on the edge right from the start and the final final third is quite insane; essentially just 20 minutes of non-stop screaming, it's an interesting experiment in how far you can push cinematic terror. A strange, disquieting and original little film that richly deserves its place in horror history. Never what I'd deem a 'nice' experience though. ***1/2